Wedding Guest List Woes


I really hate this wedding guest list thing.

Wait. Let me back up. Dan and I attended a semi-small wedding this summer and agreed that it was the perfect size. So we didn't look for huge banquet halls for our reception- we looked at small family-owned vineyards. We love the vineyard we have choosen and are really looking forward to having a quaint wedding there. But that means we can only invite 100 people.

I want to invite everyone I know.
I want to invite my entire family (3rd, 4th, 5th cousins, their parents, etc.- My family really does keep in touch with them all!)
I want to invite eveyone I am friends with.

I can't.

I have a really big family, and Dan's isn't small either. When Dan and I listed the people in our immediate families, we already had around 75 people- and that certainly wasn't everyone. That leaves about 25 spaces for friends for both of us combined. Wow- that's not much! I know that even if we were inviting 300 guests, or 500, I would still be wishing I could invite more, so I basically just need to suck it up and narrow things down.

Bottom Line: There are going to be some people I really care about who I won't be able to invite. I suppose that's how these things go. I just hope no one holds too big of a grudge.

Has anyone else had to make a guest list for a small wedding or civil union? Any advice?
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  1. Oh YES.

    I had to narrow it down to like 50 people (and I have the same problem). We ended up trying to explain to all the aunts and uncles that we had to keep it small, with the "someday" wish of having a larger party down the road. That hasn't happened yet. However, sending a memento to them after the fact may help things out. Also, CALL them and explain the situation. Nowadays, who can argue with "this is all I can afford but I love you"?

    By the way...I found your blog via BGLH and it's really nice. I'm a Carolina girl myself. ;)

  2. b-
    Really great advice. I think friends/relatives do forget that more people=more money for everything- venue, food, drink, favors etc......

    I didn't really realize this myself until this year and have been guilty of holding quiet grudges...but no more!

    (& thanks!)